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Small-Minded Pecker Heads by Fish Solo - added November 22, 2006
"God damn snow scrapers" is what I heard one early season December day in 1999. I looked back over my shoulder in the general direction of the insult to see a middle aged man in a one piece. Just a typical weekend beater with more money than common sense, yet I was unsettled and reminded of how often this common problem of skiers vs. snowboarders vs. telemarkers comes up.
So my question is this, are you a small-minded pecker head?
By no means do I want to add to the disgruntlement of America by this eye grabbing title, but let's take a quick little survey and discuss the pro's and con's of each, for I feel ignorance is to blame (and ignorance does not mean stupid it only means uninformed). I hope this sheds some light for those on the dark side.
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Q1) Do You...
- Ski
- Telemark
- Snowboard
- Any or all of the above
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Q2) Do you ride less than 15 days a year?
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Q3) Do you hold biases to other ways of riding?
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Q4) Do you make fun of and/or heckle the 'other' snow riders?
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Q5) Do you think it's unfair that Alta is not open to Snowboarding?
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Q5) Do you think it's unfair that Alta is not open to Snowboarding?
If you answered yes to any of the above you are a small-minded pecker head and in the following review I will try to explain why.
Explanation Q1:
Unless you answered d. and 'no' to all the other questions, read on my dear pecker head.
Explanation Q2:
If you ride less than 15 days a year, you're probably a weekend warrior with no real skills anyway, so any one who's better than you is a threat and any one worse just plain sucks. But the real problem here is that you're not at the mountain enough to make an educated decision about anything because you haven't lived it. Wait until you've ridden your first 100-day season to badger one about how to ride.
Explanation Q3:
Now, on the biases of other means of transportation down hill, as Buddha would say "experience can not be taught, it must be experienced" so until you've become a beginner again and tried all the mediums of GravityFed mountain transportation, keep your ignorant mouth shut! Hell...you might even like what you try.
Explanation Q4:
We all love to heckle and tease our friends. Isn't it great to needle them when they're having a bad day? Or better yet to make fun of the new guy or girl flailing under the chair? For a sport of purity, adrenaline and soul, doesn't it seem just a little contradicting to be a pecker? In a sport that's suppose to be fun: cutting words ruin days. Just remember your Karma, what comes around...
Explanation Q5:
This is not a trick question...Alta is not for everyone! Being a snowboarder and an X-Alta ski bum for 5 years (where I skied over 700 days) I can say that it is not a snowboard friendly environment, with way to many traverses and hikes. It is also packed full of so many old-school skiers you'd be heckled and knocked off every traverse all day long. I'm not condoning these actions, but truth is truth. Go ride where your welcome and ride happily, as opposed to stepping on the toes that are most likely to kick you.
A bit about myself and the real reasons for writing this nonsensical article.
How ARE WE AS HUMAN BEINGS SUPPOSE TO OVERCOME SUCH THINGS AS RELIGOIN AND DISCRIMINATION, POVERTY, WAR, ETC. WHEN A BUNCH OF SMALL-MINDED PECKER HEADS CAN'T EVEN GET ALONG ON A DIFFERENT MEANS OF SNOW SLIDING?? We're all snow brethren with one snow god and ride at the mercy of the mountain. Pushing the limits of ourselves. We all hope for the deepest winter ever, every year, and hope to ride on new gear or working gear, to stay healthy, and ride as many days as possible. Am I right or what?
So I've been a ski bum since going x-country skiing with my folks which inevitably led to alpine, then in highschool I worked at Greek Peek in New York, moving to the Green Mountains of Vermont for my 5 years of college. Castleton is where I started my snowboarding career on the Burton mooch team (all my roommates' old gear). Upon graduation of college I followed my dream to be a ski bum out west, which subsequently led to 5 wonderful years in Alta, Utah. Alta is where I took up telemark skiing to find the wonders of the Wasatch backcountry. Some summers were spent riding at Mt Hood Oregon. I've made the big move all the way to Big Cottonwood from Little Cottonwood now, where I live in a little cabin with an amazing girl I met skiing at Alta. I fell pray to a Marketing job using my college degree (hence the survey) in Babylon Salt Lake City and ride whenever I can.
In and over those years I have seen the bad rap snowboarders get, and with some due, their justice. With an economic cycle in boomed like the dicken there were many beginners, so it appeared that all snowboarders sucked. The learning curve improved but unfortunately the stereo types didn't change along with it. "Those dam snow scrapers!!" Now c'mon let's do the physics, snowboards do not displace any more snow than a skier in a snowplow or someone sideslipping. Those people all need to be labeled as bad skiers but you can't place blame on one side or the other. These are just a few, unfortunately there are many, many more but I don't have the time to list them all because I'm at work and have to get it done so I can leave early and go catch last chair. See you then my small-minded pecker heads, may your new millennium be filled with new toys, deep snow, good friends, pure thoughts and cheap tickets. May the force be with us all. -Fish Solo
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